An exploration of men's subjective experiences of their violence toward their intimate partners.
Date
2008-12-22T07:45:02Z
Authors
Lau, Ursula
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Abstract
The research served a dual purpose: (i) to explore men’s subjective experiences of their violence toward their intimate partners and, (ii) to examine how men talk about their violence in an attempt to establish credibility in their accounts. The first emphasised the subjective and emotional bases of individual experience and the second contextualised these descriptions within a broader societal framework. Highlighting the shortcomings of a quantitative research paradigm, the research utilised a qualitative framework which privileged first-person descriptions as the primary sources of subjective meaning. Although oriented toward a phenomenological approach, the research drew upon elements of psychoanalysis and discursive psychology. Twelve men were recruited from three organisations in Johannesburg. Via in-depth semi-structured interviews, men’s most vivid incident(s) of violence were explored. Thematic analysis revealed two levels of meaning: men’s descriptions of their violence (narrative content) and, processes by which they talked about their violence (narrative form). On the subjective dimension, seemingly contradictory experiences of violence were evident, clustering around five central themes: (i) violence as ‘being out of control’, (ii) violence as ‘having control’ over another, (iii) the continuum of love and violence, (iv) violence versus emotionality and (v) the violent self as ‘not me’. In feminist-psychoanalytic terms, men’s emotional dependence on their partners was denied or repressed. Violence represented a negation or devaluation of the feminine where male vulnerability and powerlessness, once exposed, became intolerable to bear. The ability to integrate and tolerate contradictory aspects of self (i.e. ‘emotional’ and ‘rational’) was a decisive step towards healing and becoming the ‘changed man’. On the discursive level, through ‘talk’, men negotiated an identity of ‘changed man’ that provided distance from the ‘violent self’. Attention to the narrative as a persuasive tool revealed ways in which the men attempted to establish credibility in their accounts of violence – achieved by socially positioning themselves in relation to their violence, agreeing to talk and employing impression management ‘strategies’, such as dissociations, justifications and confessions. Reconciling the two levels of analyses, the tension between dominant gendered discourses on masculinity that men relied on (i.e. that which fosters masculine ‘toughness’, whilst diminishing ‘weakness’ or emotionality), and the psychological interior of their actual experiences was evident. A ‘multiplicity approach’ that accords significance to both societal constructions of gender and their impact on men’s behaviour, whilst giving expression to the psychological reality of men’s experiences could prove beneficial in fostering change.
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Keywords
Men's violence, Subjective experiences, Accounts of violence, Phenomenology, Masculinities, Feminist-psychoanalysis, Multiplicity