1 
 

 

 

Unpacking the Lived Experience of High-Income Female Earners in 

Romantic Relationships. 

 

by 

Silindile Noxolo Ntshalintshali 

 Student number: 943182 

  

A Mini Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfilment of the Requirement for 

the Degree  

Master of Arts Social and Psychological Research 

 

University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg 

 Faculty of Humanities  

School of Human and Community Development  

 

 



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Declaration 

 

I, Silindile Noxolo Ntshalintshali, hereby declare that this research paper is my own, unaided 

work. All the sources that I have used have been referenced. It has not been submitted before for 

any other examination or degree at this university or any other university. 

 

Signature: SN Ntshalintshali     Date: 15 February 2024     

  



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Acknowledgements  

 

In embarking on this academic journey, I find myself humbled and indebted to a host of 

individuals whose unwavering support has transformed aspirations into accomplishments.  

Foremost, I thank God for the opportunity to study at this level. To my parents, thank you 

for supporting this endeavour even though you do not understand what kind of a career it will lead 

me to. To siblings, Basetsane, Zethembe, Happy and Sphelele, thank you for being my source of 

inspiration and motivation. To Nokuthula, Nombulelo, Tiisetso and Nomcebo, thank you for 

holding space for me and being exceptional accountability partners. Special acknowledgment is 

reserved for my partner, Ayanda, your steadfast encouragement, patience, and sacrifices have been 

the silent keystones of this pursuit.  

My sincere appreciation goes to my supervisor, Lyndall Booth. Your guidance and 

mentorship have been the compass guiding me through the intricate terrain of academic research. 

Your patience – you had to keep drawing this from a very deep well within, wisdom, and 

commitment to excellence have left an indelible mark on this endeavour.  

To the women who inspired this research question, thank you for showing up as boldly as 

you do and giving me the confidence to ask these “tough questions.” To the women who 

participated, thank you for generously sharing your time and insights, I am deeply grateful. Your 

vulnerable contributions have added richness and depth to the narrative of this study. 

And to myself, thank you for seeing this journey to the end. Despite many opportunities to 

quit, I am proud of your tenacity.  



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Table of Contents  

 

Declaration................................................................................................................................................... 2 

Acknowledgements ..................................................................................................................................... 3 

Chapter 1: Introduction ............................................................................................................................. 6 

1.1 Research Problem ............................................................................................................................. 8 

1.2 Justification, Aim(s), and Objective(s) .......................................................................................... 10 

1.3 Layout of the remainder of the document .................................................................................... 12 

1.4 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................... 13 

Chapter 2: Literature Review .................................................................................................................. 14 

2.1 Concept of gender and gender norms ........................................................................................... 14 

2.2 Money management in romantic relationships ............................................................................ 17 

2.3 Women empowerment and career advancements ....................................................................... 19 

2.4 Theoretical point of departure ....................................................................................................... 24 

2.5 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................... 27 

Chapter 3: Research Methodology .......................................................................................................... 28 

3.1 Research Design .............................................................................................................................. 28 

Research paradigm and approach ......................................................................................................... 28 

Sampling ................................................................................................................................................. 30 

Data collection........................................................................................................................................ 31 

Data analysis .......................................................................................................................................... 33 

3.2 Quality Issues in Qualitative Research ......................................................................................... 35 

3.3 Ethical considerations ..................................................................................................................... 37 

3.4 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................... 39 

Chapter 4: Findings .................................................................................................................................. 40 

4.1 Brief Sample Description................................................................................................................ 40 

4.2 Description of Emergent Themes .................................................................................................. 42 

Theme 1: First comes love then comes the money talk ........................................................................ 42 

Theme 2: Making a life together ........................................................................................................... 49 

Sub-theme 2.1: Get married to live together ...................................................................................... 49 

Sub-theme 2.2: Live together to get married. ..................................................................................... 52 



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Theme 3: Finding a work-life rhythm ................................................................................................... 53 

Theme 4: Influence of matriarchal figures and patriarchal figures.................................................... 55 

4.3 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................... 59 

Chapter 5: Discussion ............................................................................................................................... 60 

5.1 Summary of Findings ..................................................................................................................... 60 

5.2 Objectives addressed ...................................................................................................................... 62 

Internalised gender ideologies ............................................................................................................. 62 

Perceptions and experiences of gender equality ................................................................................. 63 

Gendered nature of financial decisions ............................................................................................... 67 

5.3 Limitations of the study .................................................................................................................. 69 

5.4 Recommendations ........................................................................................................................... 70 

5.5 Conclusion ....................................................................................................................................... 70 

5.6 Researchers Reflection ................................................................................................................... 71 

References .................................................................................................................................................. 74 

Appendix A: Semi-Structured Interview Guide................................................................................. 90 

Appendix B: Consent Forms ................................................................................................................ 93 

Appendix C: Ethical Clearance Certificate ........................................................................................ 99 

 

 

 

  



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Chapter 1: Introduction 

 

The interplay between financial power and traditional gender roles of high-income earning 

women is a complex and multifaceted issue that requires in-depth examination. The gender 

equality movement, which began gaining momentum in the late 19th century, has played a 

significant role in challenging traditional notions of gender roles, and advocating for equal 

treatment of men and women (Deutsch et al., 2003). This movement has made considerable 

progress over the years, as evidenced by the commitment of 195 nations to the 2030 sustainable 

goals agenda, including the goal of enforcing gender equality (Deutsch et al., 2003). 

 

While policies and legislation have been implemented to empower women economically and 

promote their participation in traditionally male-dominated fields, such measures often fail to 

address the internalised beliefs about gender roles that continue to shape societal attitudes towards 

high-income earning women. Research suggests that despite advancements in policy, patriarchal 

norms persist and influence how society perceives successful women (Bonnin, 1996; Eagly & 

Karau, 2002; Expósito et al., 2010; Gupta, 2016; Pietri et al., 2016). These deep-rooted beliefs can 

manifest in various ways, such as stereotypes that portray ambitious women negatively or 

expectations for women to prioritise family responsibilities over career advancement. 

 

To better understand these dynamics, gender studies have emerged as an important field of 

inquiry. In South Africa specifically, where challenges related to gender inequality persist, 

research focused on gender transformation aims to shed light on the intersectionality between 



7 
 

 

financial power and traditional gender roles among high-income earning women. By examining 

this interplay through a sociocultural lens, researchers can identify patterns and trends that inform 

policymaking processes (Bonnin, 1996). 

 

One key aspect to consider is how financial power affects traditional gender roles. 

Historically, economic independence has been associated with male dominance and authority 

within households (Bermudez et al., 2021; Mookodi, 2004). High-income earning women may 

challenge these traditional norms by assuming breadwinner roles or exerting control over 

household finances. Research indicates that this shift in power dynamics can lead to conflicts 

within relationships and societal backlash (Jehn & Mannix, 2001). Some men may feel 

emasculated or threatened by women's financial success, leading to tension and strain in 

partnerships (Michniewicz & Vandello, 2015; Vandello et al., 2008). 

 

Moreover, the intersection of financial power and traditional gender roles also influences 

women's experiences in the workplace. Despite their professional achievements, high-income 

earning women often face obstacles such as the glass ceiling, gender discrimination, and societal 

expectations regarding femininity (Eagly & Carli, 2007). These challenges can hinder career 

progression and limit opportunities for advancement. 

 

While policies and legislation have made strides towards promoting gender equality, they do 

not address the deeply ingrained patriarchal beliefs that shape societal attitudes towards high-

income earning women (Casey et al., 2010; Masango & Mfene, 2015; Rocha, 2020). Gender 



8 
 

 

studies research, such as this study, are believed to play a crucial role in understanding the interplay 

between financial power and traditional gender roles among these women. 

 

In conclusion, the journey towards achieving gender equality has made significant progress 

over the years, with policies and legislation aiming to empower women and address systemic 

inequalities. However, these efforts often fall short in addressing the deeply rooted patriarchal 

beliefs that continue to shape societal attitudes towards high-income earning women. This research 

report emphasises the importance of gender studies in understanding the interplay between 

financial power and traditional gender roles among these women. 

 

1.1 Research Problem  

South Africa’s gendered history is the product of its colonial and apartheid past which 

created fragmented patriarchies in rural areas and urban areas (McEwan, 2003; Morrell et al., 

2012). In the apartheid era, men dominated the paid workforce which gave them the authority and 

power to make decisions for and about the family (Morrell et al., 2012). Patriarchal ideology, in 

post-colonial and democratic South Africa, has negatively affected the discipline of gender studies. 

Byrne (2017) posits that the marginalisation of gender studies by universities undermines its ability 

to address the need of gender transformation. 

  

Schippers (2007) succinctly outlined the three components of Connell’s model of hegemonic 

masculinity; (1) it is a social location in which individuals understand (2) a set of practices and 

characteristics to be “masculine” and (3) through the embodiment of these practices by both men 



9 
 

 

and women has cultural and social effects. To briefly illustrate the shifting hegemonic 

masculinities in South Africa, Morrell et al. (2012) contrasted various leaders of the African 

National Congress (ANC) – Nelson Mandela, Thabo Mbeki, Jacob Zuma, and Julius Malema. 

Nelson Mandela represented an egalitarian masculinity that proposed men to be more involved in 

domestic work as well childrearing. When Thabo Mbeki’s presidential term started, he aligned 

himself with Mandela’s ideal of gender equality however resistance to his leadership style and 

gender ideals eroded the chance of the new egalitarian masculinity flourishing. In his term, Jacob 

Zuma reintroduced the heterosexist, patriarchal, implicitly violent traditional masculinity that was 

familiar social order for African men and women who understood it be the “right” way things 

ought be and as the ANC youth leader, at the time, Juluis Mamela promoted a masculinity that 

asserted power and wealth that could be attained through entitlement, use of violence and brute 

strength (Morrell et al., 2012). Shifts were made toward a new masculinity that sought to support 

the ideals of gender equality however the most dominant form remains the “traditional” 

masculinity. Hegemonic masculinity explains how and why men maintain social control over 

women and other gender identities which are considered “women-like” in each society (Morrell et 

al., 2012). 

 

There is a quote by Johnny Hart, “whoever has the gold makes the rules” which has held 

true for many years in patriarchal societies that subscribe to traditional masculinity ideologies 

(Levant et al., 2003; Murshid & Critelli, 2017; Rink et al., 2021). This research seeks to contribute 

to the body of knowledge about South African hegemonic masculinities by exploring the lived 

experiences of economically empowered women, the importance of this financial power in the 

dynamics of the relationship and the interplay between their financial power and their 'traditional' 



10 
 

 

or 'expected' gender roles - childbearing, housekeeping, etc. By answering the research question 

stated as follows: How do high-income earning females in heterosexual romantic relationships 

navigate their gender roles and negotiate their power in financial decision making? 

    

1.2 Justification, Aim(s), and Objective(s) 

The existing body of research on the intersectionality of race, class, and gender as it pertains 

to masculinity has primarily focused on developed countries such as the United States, the United 

Kingdom, and various European nations (Lewis, 2001; Lowell, 1996; Mader & Schneebaum, 

2013). These studies, although valuable, often lack a nuanced understanding of the specific socio-

economic and racial contexts of developing nations, particularly in Africa. 

 

South Africa, in particular, stands out as a unique case study due to its complex history of 

apartheid, post-apartheid social and economic transformations, and the diverse racial and cultural 

fabric of its society. The intersectionality of race, class, and gender in South Africa creates 

distinctive dynamics that significantly differ from those in Western developed countries. 

Understanding masculinity within this context is crucial for developing a comprehensive global 

perspective on gender studies. 

 

The methodological approaches employed in many existing research studies have been 

predominantly qualitative. Qualitative methods allow for in-depth exploration and analysis of the 

intricate nuances associated with gender and finances. These methodologies often involve 

interviews, focus groups, and participant observations, providing rich data that can capture the 



11 
 

 

complexities of individuals' lived experiences concerning masculinity and financial matters. The 

choice of qualitative methods in these studies reflects the intricate and multifaceted nature of the 

connection between masculinity and financial behaviours (Anderson, 2010; Smith et al., 1995). 

 

In the current study, it is essential to recognise the limitations of relying solely on research 

conducted in developed countries. Drawing on the unique socio-economic and racial context of 

South Africa provides an opportunity to broaden the understanding of masculinity and its 

intersectionality with race, class, and gender in a global context. By employing qualitative research 

methods, the study aims to capture the diverse narratives and perspectives of individuals in South 

Africa, shedding light on the complexities of masculinity and financial behaviours within this 

specific cultural and historical backdrop. 

 

The primary aim of this research is to explore the interrelation of gender ideologies on dual-

income heterosexual romantic relationships, particularly focusing on South African females who 

earn more than their partners. The study aims to gain comprehensive insights into the implications 

of these ideologies, delving into the financial decision-making processes within these relationships 

and assessing their role in fostering gender equality.  

 

The research objectives for achieving this aim are twofold. The first objective of this study 

is to elucidate the internalised gender ideologies of high-income women, casting light on their 

beliefs and attitudes. The second objective is to understand the multifaceted perceptions and 

experiences of gender equality in various spheres of their lives, such as work, home, and family 



12 
 

 

dynamics. Additionally, the research seeks to explore the complex nature of financial decisions 

within romantic relationships, specifically examining how gender norms and expectations 

influence these decisions. 

 

1.3 Layout of the remainder of the document          

In this section, an outline of the chapters that follow is provided. The contents of each chapter 

are thus summarised.  

In Chapter 2, a review of the literature related to gender ideologies, management of finances 

in relationships, the empowerment and career advancement of women is discussed. The theoretical 

departure contextualises the concepts of interest for this study.  

In Chapter 3, the methodology employed in the study is discussed. The discussion includes 

the research paradigm, number of participants, the manner in which participants were recruited. In 

addition, the method of data collection, data analysis and the measures that enhanced the quality 

of the study are explained in this chapter.  

The findings in relation to the research aims and objectives are presented in Chapter 4. The 

findings are presented in themes that emerged from the data analysis.  

In Chapter 5, the emergent themes of the findings section are discussed. Moreover, the 

discussion is related to the literature, and the aims and objectives of the study. Furthermore, the 

limitations and recommendations of the study are outlined as well as the researcher’s reflection on 

the research process. 



13 
 

 

1.4 Conclusion 

In summary, this research aims to unravel the impact of gender ideologies on financial 

decision-making processes by investigating dual-income heterosexual romantic relationships 

particularly when females earn more than their partners. The twofold objectives, illuminating 

internalised gender ideologies of high-income women and exploring perceptions of gender 

equality, underscore the complexity of the study. This research seeks to contribute a more inclusive 

and global perspective to discussions on masculinity, gender equality, and financial behaviours, 

shedding light on the diverse experiences shaped by the intricate interplay of race, class, and 

gender in South African society. 

 

 

 

 

 

  



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Chapter 2: Literature Review 

 

To understand the function of gender roles in heterosexual romantic relationships, it is 

important to take a step back and understand the concept of gender and the nature of gender 

differences. 

2.1 Concept of gender and gender norms 

Gender is conceptualised as a social construct that is produced in social practices and 

interactions that reinforce the notion that genders are assigned at birth (Lorber & Farrell, 1991). 

This production of gender creates expectations of what constitutes as appropriate behaviour. Social 

principles, also known as gender norms, govern the behaviours of girl and boys and sets the tone 

for the expectations of what is appropriate in womanhood and manhood through agents of 

socialisation such as the media, religious beliefs, and parents (Wilson, 2019). Gender norms have 

far-reaching implications on health, family planning, money management among various domains 

of life. The influence of gender norms on health behaviours differs slightly between men and 

women. Risky health practices are manifestations of masculinity in males, while gender norms can 

limit women's authority and ability to control their health in women. Gender norms have an impact 

on health through health habits in both circumstances (Fleming & Agnew-Brune, 2015).  

 

In a study on gender norms in family planning, Schuler et al., 2011 contrasted the norms of 

men’s and women’s roles in the family and society in Tanzania. Men were defined as the leader 

of the household, the provider for the family, capable of having sex and satisfying a woman, 

capable of having children, and capable of participating in society. A man was responsible for 



15 
 

 

providing financial support for the family as the head of the household, including clothing, food, 

education for children, and health care. Men's positions as head of home were also described in 

terms of decision-making dominance whereas a woman was characterised as the husband's 

supporter, the caretaker of the family, and the bearer of children. The participants in that study 

made an interesting distinction stating that a man without children could still have the reverence 

and status of a man even though he was believed to be an incomplete man however a woman 

without a child or the inability to bear children is seen as far less than a woman, motherhood is the 

right of passage through women in this society could attain that title, “…she would be a human 

being but not a woman because I did not get married to her so that we can look at each other. I 

married her so that we can have a family and that is by getting children…” (Schuler et al., 2011). 

 

The sentiments in Schuler et al. (2011) study is reflective of societies in which the 

breadwinner/ homemaker model is strongly held. In a recent study, Gonalons-Pons and Gangl 

(2021) found that in countries where the male breadwinner model is valued, the risk of couple 

separation is higher when men are unemployed; supporting the gendered expectation that a man 

should work. Tannen (as cited in Ickes,1993) asserts that the differences in gender roles lies in the 

emphasis and priority; where the feminine gender role emphasises closeness and solidarity, and 

the masculine gender role prioritises power and status. These roles have been institutionalised by 

cultures leading to the structure of female subordination to male dominance. 

 

In an act of activism against their subordination, women fought for their place in the 

workplace as economic actors however the influx of women in the workplace creates tension for 



16 
 

 

men and women to preserve their gender identities in which women carry the burden of child and 

home care, and men are expected to fulfil the role of provider (Lewis, 2001). The workplace also 

continues to replicate traditional division of labour with most institutions providing leave for 

women after childbirth, reinforcing the idea that childcare falls within the responsibility of women. 

Sallee (2013) conducted a study within three institutions of higher learning to make the argument 

that policies needed to be more than just family-friendly which was often synonyms with being 

‘mommy-friendly.’ In the study, several organisational elements were outlined as necessary to 

enable men to make use of the offered family-friendly policies such as paid paternity leave, 

dependent sick leave, flexitime etc. Men in male-dominated organisations were less likely than 

women in the same organisations to access family-friendly policies however if other fathers had 

utilised these work/family resources more fathers were encouraged to also utilise them (Sallee, 

2013). This behaviour supports the notion that gender norms exist in the world shaping people’s 

experience and social norms exist in the minds of people as beliefs from observing their external 

world (Cislaghi & Heise, 2019). 

 

In conventional heterosexual relationships men are expected to be breadwinners and women 

to be homemakers. Wives who earn relatively high-incomes tend to be absent in the home requiring 

that husbands dedicate more time to household tasks (Harrell, 2006). However, wives may also 

insist on performing the majority of the household tasks to preserve their identity as “good wives,” 

while husband preserve their identity as the “man” by resisting the request for assistance (Tichenor, 

2005). 

  



17 
 

 

2.2 Money management in romantic relationships 

Traditional masculine ideologies bestow the status and privilege of “breadwinning” to men 

and women who subscribe to this ideology do not see themselves as breadwinners even when their 

partners do not fulfil this role (Tichenor, 2005). It can be argued that income disparity can be a site 

of tension and conflict in the relationship and could lower the perceived relationship quality, this 

will be explored in this study. When the female partner is the high-income earner in heterosexual 

relationships, men experience higher relationship quality despite the income disparity when they 

hold non-traditional masculine ideologies however it is unclear whether the same relationship 

quality would be maintained if the female partner held traditional masculine ideologies (Coughlin 

& Wade, 2012).  

 

Traditionally, in a relationship, it is assumed that the partner who has more money also has 

a bigger stake in how financial decisions are made (Coughlin & Wade, 2012). In a US study, 62 

couples confirmed this by agreeing that they felt the spouse with the higher income leveraged this 

to control decision making –with this control not being limited to financial decisions (Lowell, 1996 

as cited in Coughlin & Wade, 2012). Men’s identities are so intricately linked to the power of 

having money that their psychological wellbeing decreases when their women contribute 40%-

60% of the family income (Coughlin & Wade, 2012). It was found that in relationships where one 

partner manages the finances, specifically in the context of marriage, the woman is disadvantaged 

because women tend to make family-oriented decisions, putting themselves last more often than 

men, however this is mitigated by contributions to the family income giving her financial decision-

making power related to her personal needs and those of the family (LeBaron et al., 2019).  

 



18 
 

 

Couples’ financial decision-making strategies differ in the context of cohabitation and 

marriage (Mader & Schneebaum, 2013). In a European study, it was found that in the latter context 

financial decisions are less likely to be made individually however women are more likely to make 

decisions around everyday purchases and children related purchases alone, while men attend to 

the “serious” financial decisions (Mader & Schneebaum, 2013).  

 

Financial conflict is a common source of distress in romantic relationships, and it can arise 

from various factors, including external financial obligations. Archuleta et al. (2011) conducted a 

study to examine the association between financial conflict and relationship satisfaction in married 

couples. The research focused on external financial obligations and disagreements over money 

management, their findings revealed a negative impact of financial conflict on relationship 

satisfaction, emphasising the need for effective communication and financial management 

strategies. It is important for couples in relationships to disclose amounts coming in and going out. 

Dew (2016) found the debt is positively associated with divorce. The non-disclosure of debt as a 

financial obligation is likely to cause tensions and feelings of diminished trust. While open and 

clear communication is important when discussing financial obligations, shared goals and values 

around money and family, will mitigate the rise of arguments about money. In a study conducted 

by Baisden et al. (2018), that included only participants in their first marriage with at least one 

child aged 18 or younger as a criterion, having shared or similar financial values appeared to 

benefit relationships more than how much income they earned.  

 



19 
 

 

One of the benefits of a joint account is that everyone has sight of the income and 

expenditure, for some couples it may even be the ultimate symbol of commitment as there is just 

“our” money. One of the findings in a study conducted by Skogrand et al. (2011) with participants 

who characterised themselves as having great relationships found it was not important whether 

money was kept in a joint or separate account as long the spouse handling the finances has the 

skills and communicated. The socio-economic strata of the couple also influences the decision to 

have a joint account, women in low-income partnerships may prefer having a joint account as 

means to secure themselves in the relationship (Addo & Sassler, 2010). The same however, cannot 

be said for women who are more financially independent whose autonomy is just as important 

security in the relationship. Maintaining that autonomy is a revolution of sorts against traditional 

norms and legal implications of shared finances (Mahle, 2006). 

 

2.3 Women empowerment and career advancements 

Gender equality and women empowerment has been on the United Nations agenda for over 20 

years. In the Millennium Development Goals, it was the third goal however when these goals were 

reviewed in 2015, it become the fifth goal in the Sustainable Development Goals for 2030 strategy 

(Research Guides: UN Documentation: Development: 2000-2015, Millennium Development 

Goals, n.d.). The move from the third to the fifth position could suggest that over the years some 

strides toward gender equality and women empowerment have been made.  

 

Feminist scholars assert that tangible women empowerment lies in women’s ability to 

understand and express their power (Cornwall, 2016; Kabeer, 2005) Their understanding of power 



20 
 

 

is anchored on two central aspects, control over resources and control over ideologies, therefore 

empowerment can be understood as the process of gaining control (Cornwall, 2016). There are 

many approaches to women gaining control, including education, equal rights, access to resources, 

and supportive work environments.  

 

Education, as outlined above, is essential for women to bring about social and economic 

changes in the economy. It is an important lever to help women gain control over resources and 

ideologies by teaching them their rights, improving tolerance, increasing employment rates, and 

reducing poverty. More specific to the plight of women, it also helps in preventing early marriages, 

health, and safety, reducing infant and child mortality rates, and fighting hunger (Kaur & Saini, 

2017). It has also been reported that women who are educated reported enhanced relationships and 

decreased conflict because partners are more willing to discuss problems in depth suggesting that 

tensions about income occur only when established ideologies of masculinity within a relationship 

are threatened (Harrell, 2006). 

In the local context, gender equality has been a serious endeavour for the South African 

government in the last 20 years toward democracy led by presidents Nelson Mandela and Thabo 

Mbeki who both played a pivotal role in the formal acknowledgement of equality between sexes 

and etched this acknowledgement in South Africa’s new Constitution (Hills, 2015). Feminists have 

long argued that empowerment is not something that can be done to or for women, a sentiment 

that likely rings true in the development of policies such as National Policy Framework for Women 

Empowerment and Gender Equality (WEGE) and legislation such as Broad-Based Black 

Economic Empowerment (B-BBEE) and Transformation that seek to address inequalities resultant 



21 
 

 

from apartheid (Hills, 2015). It can be expected that the successful implementation of these 

policies is largely reliant on the extensive participation and advocacy from women and their allies.  

 

In her study, Cornwall (2016) explored what works to support the pathways to women 

empowerment and concludes that empowerment has to extend beyond increasing women’s 

accesses to resources. In order to see the fruits of women empowerment, it is fundamental that 

women are engaged critically in thinking differently about themselves, their situation, their social 

work, and relationships to understand their power within and their collective power with other 

women to exercise the necessary agency to make positive changes.   

 

While strides in women empowerment have given women access to various career 

opportunities, internalisation of gender-based myths influences behaviour, both directly and 

indirectly, through the anticipation that behaviours that deviate from gendered norms will be 

criticised by others (Barnett, 2004). For example, women may turn down career changing 

opportunities if they feel their colleagues may view them as neglectful of their maternal obligations 

while in a similar vein, men might be apprehensive to take parental leave for fear of appearing to 

have neglected their primary responsibility as providers (Barnett, 2004). Masculinity has high 

association with career advancement, the sample in Tharenou’s (2001) study found that being high 

in masculinity coupled with high aspirations were the variables that supports advancement to 

higher management. The notion of meritocracy proposes that the attainment of status and reward 

is based on achievement, however a phenomenon called the “paradox of equality” posits that when 



22 
 

 

mangers perceive their ability to judge merit objectively, they unwittily open themselves up to 

their own gender stereotypes and biases (Castilla & Benard, 2010; Kaiser et al., 2013).  

 

Women’s career advancement is marred by unique barriers such as the "sticky floor," "leaky 

pipeline," "maternal wall," and "glass ceiling." These barriers are underpinned by societal and 

gender stereotypes. The drive for gender diversity in organisations aims to reduce the reproduction 

of gender inequalities particularly through practices surrounding maternity leave and grant 

management (Maxwell et al., 2019).  

 

The "glass ceiling" is a subtle yet strong barrier that prevents women from advancing in the 

management hierarchy (Ezzedeen, 2015; Kumra & Vinnicombe, 2008). In a sample of 

professionals in the private and public sector, Saleem et al. (2017) found that cultural connotations 

of leadership styles and societal barriers further impede women's advancement leading to 

underrepresentation in high-ranking executive positions. Additionally, women face challenges due 

to their submissive, emotional, and supportive nature, which are considered negative qualities for 

top management positions (Saleem et al., 2017). 

 

The "leaky pipeline" refers to the attrition of women at each step of the career ladder, 

particularly in fields such as science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) (Liu et 

al., 2019; Saleem et al., 2017).  

 



23 
 

 

The term "maternal wall" is applicable to the barriers that women encounter when trying to 

negotiate maternity and family obligations within organisational structures. These obstacles have 

an impact on their opportunities for advancement and tenure (Maxwell et al., 2019; O’Shaughnessy 

& Burnes, 2016). In registered nursing, motherhood, dependent children, working hours, and 

career pauses all influence the advancement of women. As a consequence of motherhood, women's 

capabilities are devalued, they are denied opportunities, and they face career-related 

disadvantages. These elements do not operate independently, to a greater or lesser extent, women's 

career advancements are determined by the cumulative effect and the interplay between these 

variables (McIntosh et al., 2012).  

 

Furthermore, the "sticky floor" denotes the hurdles that impede the advancement of women 

in their professional lives, including familial obligations and employers' failure to implement 

gender-inclusive policies (Buddhapriya, 2009; Burke et al., 2006).  

 

Gender diversity in the workplace has bottom-line benefits for organisations where the 

representation of women in director positions results in higher sales and returns on invested, 

however organisational culture and expectations that favour men over women promote and sustain 

invisible barriers that cut into these bottom-line benefits (Ellemers, 2014). 

 



24 
 

 

2.4 Theoretical point of departure 

The overarching goal of this section is to contribute to a nuanced understanding of the 

complexities surrounding gender roles, and power dynamics, shedding light on the diverse ways 

individuals navigate these aspects within the intricate tapestry of human relationships. 

 

Adams’ (1965) equity theory posits four propositions, the first is that humans are hard-wired 

to minimise pain and maximise pleasure, the second is that society rewards fair and equitable 

behaviour, the third is that humans want their behaviours to be met proportionally rather than 

equally – they do not want to over or under benefit and lastly, humans want to avoid inequitable 

relationships by restoring equity (actual and psychological) or leave the relationship (Hatfield & 

Rapson, 2011). 

 

Gillespie et al. (2019) found that relationship quality is predicated by the perceptions of 

fairness in the division of shared expenses as opposed to the division of housework. The inequities 

of housework are easily resolved by outsourcing and reallocation compared to financial inequities. 

Equity theory provides the theoretical framework for this study as the focus of study is women 

who are negotiating their gender roles while evaluating the fairness of these roles in their 

relationships. The feminist lens will interrogate the beliefs of gender equality and the steps that 

female high-income earners have made toward that through their financial power. 

 

The goal of feminist theory and activism is to raise attention to and explain the lives of girls 

and women to elicit empowering strategies, both individually and collectively, to transform such 



25 
 

 

oppressive conditions (LeBaron et al., 2019). The nature of feminist theory is not static, much like 

other social theories, it is constantly evolving within the socio-historical contexts in which practice 

take place and thus being built (Radtke, 2017). By applying a feminist lens, this study aims to 

examine the beliefs of gender equality held by high-income earning females and explore the steps 

they have taken to challenge traditional gender roles in their homes.  

 

Intersectionality theory contextualised the women in this study and their experiences. 

Intersectionality was coined by legal scholar and critical race theorist Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989, 

who recognised that individuals experience multiple social categories simultaneously, such as race, 

class, gender, and sexual orientation, and that these categories intersect to shape their identities 

and experiences (Crenshaw, 2011). Intersectionality emphasises the interconnectedness and 

interplay of various forms of social inequality, acknowledging that different axes of identity and 

power cannot be understood in isolation from one another. This approach challenges essentialist 

notions and recognises the complexity of individuals' experiences. This concept has been applied 

across various disciplines to address issues such as mental health interventions, social justice, and 

equity (Cole, 2009). 

  

An intersectional perspective to the research question enables a more nuanced examination 

of how high-income earning females negotiate their gender roles and power in financial decision-

making. This perspective allows for an exploration of the ways in which other aspects of their 

identity, such as race, class, and sexual orientation, intersect with gender to shape their experiences 

and power dynamics within their relationships.  



26 
 

 

 

In this exploration, it is imperative to understand their social category – how might these 

women in of differing ethnic or racial groups experience their roles as mothers, wives, and 

committed partners within an assumed similar social class as high-income earners (Cole, 2009). 

The study by Totenhagen et al. (2018) found that unmarried women's daily financial satisfaction 

was associated with increased relationship quality for themselves and their partners (Totenhagen 

et al., 2018). This finding suggests that marital status is a potential predictor of the ability to utilise 

power in financial decision making in ways that do not compromise relationship satisfaction.  

 

Race, groups, social class, and sexuality are not merely descriptive terms for different or 

similar groups; they also encompass the historical and continuous connections of political, 

material, and social inequality and discrimination. As part of the intersection inquiry, examination 

of how social categories create unequal interactions between individuals and groups which in turn 

shapes their perceptions and expectations is necessary. Hurtado (1989 as cited in Cole, 2009) 

argued that in American culture, the interests of white women and women of colour are deeply 

divided by their relationship to white men, who are the most privileged race/gender group. Erskine 

and Bilimoria (2019) extended Hurtado's work by positing that the definition of woman is 

constructed differently for White women and women of colour, with gender being the marking 

mechanism through which the subordination of each group is maintained. Through this lens, there 

is an opportunity to uncover the similarities or differences in internalised gender ideologies across 

races, marital status, and parenthood.  

  



27 
 

 

2.5 Conclusion  

In conclusion, this comprehensive examination of gender, gender norms, money 

management, and women's empowerment reveals the intricate interplay of societal expectations 

on human relationships. The study underscores the enduring impact of traditional gender roles on 

health behaviours, family dynamics, and career choices, particularly in the context of family 

planning and workplace dynamics. Money management in romantic relationships is influenced by 

entrenched masculine ideologies, resulting in tension and potential conflict. Despite strides in 

women's empowerment, barriers persist in career advancement, manifested through the glass 

ceiling, maternal wall, and leaky pipeline. Guided by equity theory and feminism, the study 

explores how women negotiate gender roles and financial power, while the intersectionality 

perspective acknowledges the interconnected nature of various social categories in shaping these 

experiences.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

  



28 
 

 

Chapter 3: Research Methodology 

 

This chapter provides an overview of the research methodology used in this study. A 

qualitative research methodology was carefully selected as the appropriate method for ensuring a 

thorough exploration. The selected method of data collection involved conducting semi-structured 

interviews, which allowed interactive and influential dialogue between the researcher and the 

participants. To analyse the rich data obtained from these interviews, a thematic analysis approach 

was employed. Furthermore, this chapter also delves into the credibility measures implemented 

throughout the research process, as well as the ethical considerations diligently addressed. By 

presenting these key aspects, this chapter aims to establish a robust foundation for subsequent 

findings and conclusions.  

 

3.1 Research Design  

Research paradigm and approach  

Research paradigms provide guidance regarding the methodology of a study, since they 

illustrate the researcher's values and beliefs about the world (ontology), the way he or she defines 

it (epistemology), and how he or she approaches it (methodology) (Christensen et al., 2010). 

Different paradigms imply different methods and techniques to generate and analyse data. Thus, 

the choice of a paradigm is a fundamental step in conducting research (Kivunja & Kuyini, 2017).  

 

The nature of this study sought to understand the implications of gender ideologies in a dual 

income heterosexual romantic relationship and explore the financial decision making among South 



29 
 

 

African females earning a higher income than their partner. This investigation of these South 

African females’ experiences could be constructed into knowledge, not just through interpretations 

but also through my opinions and judgements. 

 

The term, phenomenology, was coined by Edmund Husserl as a qualitative study method 

that investigates the what and the how of human experience (Wertz, 2011). The two procedures 

necessary to study human experience are the epoch of the natural sciences and the natural attitude 

aimed at extending science into the realm of subjectivity (Wertz, 2011). Later, Heidegger and 

Gadamer proposed a different version of phenomenology, namely hermeneutic phenomenology 

which takes the researcher a little further by analysing texts to find meanings of experience by 

searching for themes (Sloan & Bowe, 2014). 

 

Phenomenological methods were the best-suited methodology for this research problem 

because the study emphasises subjectivity and seeks to understand the personal life experiences of 

the participants. This method of research allows the researcher to delve deeper, investigating and 

reflexively describing a phenomenon (Wilig, 2013). 

 

The method of hermeneutic phenomenology was used for this research because it allows for 

the identification of the essence of the phenomenon of high-income female earners. It also allows 

for the interpretation of their experiences to provide insight into the gender ideologies they 

subscribe to and negotiation of their gender roles within those ideologies. 



30 
 

 

 

Sampling  

In South Africa, the discussion of personal financial matters is considered a taboo; limiting 

access to research participants who would be comfortable having such a discussion with a stranger 

(Alsemgeest & Grobbelaar, 2015). Therefore, the sample was recruited using the snowball method.  

 

The snowball sampling method is characterised by networks and referrals; the initial sample 

of participants recommend individuals who share the characteristics that are of interest to the 

researcher. The familiar connections between the initial sample and the individuals they 

recommend are theorised to make it easier for the researcher to build rapport as well as overcome 

cultural boundaries that would traditionally hinder participants’ willingness to volunteer for the 

study. This sampling method was useful for the study as “money talks” are considered a sensitive 

issue (Frey, 2018).  

 

The following criterion was employed in the recruitment of participants:  

• Must be 18 years or older. 

• Must be in a heterosexual relationship. 

• Must be living with their partner (whether cohabiting or married). 

• Must earn more than their partner. 

• Can be at any stage in the relationship (newly cohabiting to comfortably settled). 

• Can be childless / childrearing. 



31 
 

 

 

There were no restrictions on whether participants are married, cohabiting, have children 

etc., although this criterion was discussed with the initial sample when asking for referrals to 

provide varied lived experiences. 

 

The sample profile for the study included 11 women who disclosed earning more than their 

partner. Nine (9) of the women in the study lived with their partner in the context of marriage, 

while two (2) of the women cohabitating. The average length of marriage was 12 years while the 

cohabiting couples had been together for 2 years and 9 years, respective. 9 of the 11 women were 

mothers to an average of 2 children who were between toddler and early adulthood age ranges. All 

the participants in this study were based in Gauteng, South Africa. The initial participants were 

recruited through various channels such as LinkedIn, word of mouth from colleagues and Wits 

Plus lectures posting the recruitment poster on Ulwazi. Participants who were interested reached 

out through email and arrangements were made to conduct the interview at a place and time that 

was convenient for them.  

 

Data collection  

In the wake of COVID-19, researchers have had to use more online forms of data collection 

due to the various restrictions that prohibited the free movement of people. Given the COVID-19 

was still a concern for research participants at the time data collection occurred; consideration was 

given regarding in person and online data collection.  

 



32 
 

 

In a small-scale and exploratory study, Irvine et al. (2012) highlighted the interactional 

differences between interviews that were conducted on the telephone and face-to-face. Requests 

for clarification were less frequent in telephonic interviews; checks of adequacy of responses were 

more common over the telephone and interview durations were shorter during telephone. Rapport 

in face-to-face interviews made it easier for more instances of researcher completion and 

formulation. While face to face interviews is the standard practice, the use of online platforms such 

as Zoom, Microsoft Teams etc. combine the best of both worlds and allows the researcher to reach 

a larger, diversified audience.  

 

One on one semi-structured interviews with a timeframe between 30 minutes to 60 minutes 

were facilitated online to the preference and convenience of participants. Most of the interviews 

took place over Microsoft teams for those who were comfortable with platform and had reliable 

internet connection. WhatsApp calls were presented as an option to participants who struggled 

with their internet connection or who were more comfortable with this platform. Only one 

interview was conducted in person at the Wits campus as per the participants preference as they 

had no private space to engage in an online meeting that did not mean having the conversation in 

the presence of their partner. 

 

The flexibility of semi-structured interviews reduces implicit biases in the questions and 

allows the participants to express themselves more freely and focus on aspects that are most 

important to them (Youmans et al., 2022). Despite using an interview guide, included in Appendix 

A, participants were more comfortable discussing some topics (such as home and work life) than 



33 
 

 

others (such as childhood, finances), allowing them to redefine the topic and highlight aspects that 

the researcher was unaware of before the interview (Galletta, 2013). The researcher was then able 

to use this new information to inform the interview guide and adjust their questioning accordingly. 

This approach allowed for a more in-depth exploration, leading to more meaningful findings. All 

interviews were recorded with the consent of participants, and notes taken throughout the duration 

of each interview. The verbatims were transcribed and translated into English as close to the 

original meaning as possible where necessary by the researcher. These transcriptions were used as 

the data source to be analysed for this study. 

 

Data analysis  

Thematic analysis has been widely used in research studies across different disciplines such 

as psychology, sociology, health sciences, and education (Guest et al., 2006; Nowell et al., 2017; 

Vaismoradi et al., 2013). 

 

For this study thematic analysis was used as the analytic method to identify, analyse, and 

report themes (patterns) within the data (Braun & Clarke, 2006). As a student researcher this 

analysis approach is more accessible because it does not require detailed theoretical knowledge 

(Braun & Clarke, 2006). The method can be applied to a range of data types, including interview 

transcripts, focus group discussions, survey responses, and observational data (Guest et al., 2006). 

 

The five phase guidelines entailing familiarisation with the data; generation of initial codes; 

search of themes; review of the themes, definition, and naming of themes all synthesise into the 



34 
 

 

production of the report. These are merely guidelines that can be adapted in a reiterative process 

to fit the research question and the data (Braun & Clarke, 2006).  

 

The familiarisation phase entailed listening to the audios and transcribing the interviews 

while comparing these to the notes made during the interview. The transcription allowed the 

researcher to re-immerse themselves into the data and thinking about interesting nuggets that spoke 

to the research question. 

  

Once all the interviews were transcribed, the generations of initial codes began. Initially the 

codes were generated using the paper method in which the researcher would highlight and make 

notes on physical copies of the transcripts however this was then replicated on ATLAS.ti as the 

programme provided a more efficient and effective process. Various debriefing sessions were held 

with the supervisor to ensure that the researchers biases were not influencing the coding. The 

clarity from the debrief engagements gave way to the search for themes.  

 

Initially, the themes were narrow and addressed each data point individually. During the 

review, the initial themes were grouped to address a variety of data points under a broader theme. 

The naming and definition of the themes will be discussed in the next chapter.  

 



35 
 

 

The use of thematic analysis for this study allowed for a rich interpretation of the data (Braun 

& Clarke, 2006). It enabled the exploration of the complex phenomena of financial decision-

making in heterosexual relationships and the identification of underlying themes within the data. 

  

3.2 Quality Issues in Qualitative Research  

Qualitative research methodology exposes the intricacies of human experiences, 

perspectives, and behaviours, it is vital to tackle fundamental issues in order to ensure reliability, 

credibility, and applicability. Transparency, rigour, transferability within contextual boundaries 

and reflexivity as crucial concerns for this study are discussed below.  

 

Transparency plays a critical role in qualitative research, enabling researchers to establish 

trustworthiness and accountability. In doing so, the researcher must provide a clear and 

comprehensive account of the research process, including the methods employed, data collection 

techniques, and analytical strategies, transparency allows others to evaluate and replicate the study. 

Openly sharing the research design and findings promotes the credibility and reliability of 

qualitative research (Shenton, 2004). Details related to the study were shared with participants in 

the consent forms and any questions and concerns were discussed prior to the commencement of 

the interviews. Please see Appendix B for a copy of the information and consent forms. 

 

Rigour is another crucial aspect of qualitative research, ensuring the accuracy, validity, and 

robustness of the findings. Various strategies can be employed to enhance rigour, such as 

employing multiple sources of data, conducting member checks to validate interpretations with 



36 
 

 

participants, and engaging in prolonged engagement and persistent observation to develop an in-

depth understanding of the phenomenon under study (Lincoln et al., 1985). The interviews were 

analysed completely using thematic analysis to ensure the research question was addressed. The 

emergent themes are discussed in the next chapter, linking the data provided by participants with 

extracts of their interviews. 

 

While qualitative research typically focuses on understanding specific contexts and 

phenomena deeply, it is essential to consider the broader applicability of the findings. 

Transferability can be enhanced by providing rich descriptions of the research context, participant 

characteristics, and research processes, allowing readers to assess the relevance of the findings to 

their own contexts (Thomas & Magilvy, 2011). The findings in this study can only be understood 

in the context of heterosexual relationships wherein the women earn a higher income than their 

partner with similar backgrounds to the women who participated in this study. Areas suggested for 

further research, and thus additional limitations to transferability, are included in the final chapter.  

 

Reflexivity is a critical element of qualitative research that acknowledges the potential 

influence of the researcher on the research process and outcomes. Reflexivity involves recognising 

and critically reflecting upon the researcher's own biases, assumptions, and values that may shape 

data collection, analysis, and interpretation (Finlay, 2002). Engaging in reflexivity enhances the 

transparency and credibility of qualitative research by making explicit the researcher's subjectivity 

and potential impact on the findings. The researcher engaged their supervisor in various debriefing 

sessions to help navigate and address the researchers influence, especially during the analysis 



37 
 

 

process. This reflection, including the positions as the researcher, will be detailed in a reflection 

section of the last chapter. 

 

By addressing the above-mentioned issues of transparency, rigour, transferability to context, 

and reflexivity, the researcher has committed to ensure the trustworthiness and applicability of 

their findings. 

 

3.3 Ethical considerations 

Ethical clearance was applied for prior to the commencement of this study. Application was 

made to the School of Human and Community Development Ethics Committee constituted under 

the University Human Research Ethics Committee (HREC Non-Medical) and a certificate of 

ethical clearance was issued. Please refer to Appendix C for a copy of this certificate. The 

researcher committed to adhere to ethical principles throughout the research process and 

implemented the following actions to honour this commitment. 

 

Informed consent was received from participants through a written consent form that was 

distributed through e-mail prior to the scheduled interview. The research participants were made 

fully aware of their right to withdraw from participating at any point during the study in the consent 

form. This was also reiterated to the participants at the beginning of all the interviews. 

  



38 
 

 

The informed consent extended to the data collection where participants were made aware 

that they will be recorded. The recordings of the interviews and their transcripts were stored in a 

password protected device and used solely for the research purposes of this study with all 

individual, geographic, and activity identifiers being removed. The data files were shared with my 

supervisor on a qualitative data analysis programme that was only accessible with the account 

details of the specific user.   

 

While the informed consent was explained to the research participants regarding their 

willingness to participate as well as how the data would be store, research participants acceptance 

of conducting the interviews on Microsoft Teams and WhatsApp suggested implicit consent that 

these platforms would also collect some of their personal information all the while protecting the 

content of the conversations. 

 

The nature of the research did not allow for anonymity; therefore, the focus was on protecting 

the identity of the participants and ensuring confidentiality. Confidentiality of participation in the 

research study was maintained by using a pseudonym to identify and refer to participants and 

removing all identifying particulars such names, their position at work, the name of the institution 

or organisation they work for, the area in which they reside etc. in the data.  

 

Confidentiality of potential participants was also of particular importance during the 

snowball sampling method used. Before the initial participants disclosed the personal information 

of other potential interviewees that was necessary to set up the interviews, they were asked to 



39 
 

 

ensure they had the permission of this individual to give out these details. Proceeding without this 

permission was believed to be problematic because this not only contravenes the above-mentioned 

commitment to confidentiality, but it also contravenes the Protection of Personal Information Act 

(POPIA). Where this assurance could not be provided, as the researcher, I offered my contact 

details to be given to the recommended participants to protect their personal information as well 

as put the power in the hands of the participants to reach out to me voluntarily. In most instances, 

once participants had been interviewed, they spoke to the participants they intended to recommend 

and asked them if they were comfortable having their contact details be shared with me as 

researcher.  

 

3.4 Conclusion   

The methodology chapter is a fundamental aspect of rigorous research. It serves as the 

backbone of research, enabling informed decisions, navigation of challenges, and drawing of 

meaningful conclusions. A well-designed methodology establishes a strong foundation, paving the 

way for valuable insights and potential future investigations in this area. 

 

This chapter discussed the research approach and design as it relates to how the study was 

conducted to achieve the outlined objectives. The gathering of relevant and reliable data was 

outlined and how this informed the data analysis. Issues of qualitative research were addressed, 

and clarity provided about how these issues were managed throughout the research process. The 

ethical considerations that this research adhered to were also explored to illustrate the researcher’s 

commitment to sound, ethical research practices.  



40 
 

 

Chapter 4: Findings 

 

This chapter presents the collected findings from the data and provides a brief introduction 

on participating female high-income earners to contextualise the sample. Please note pseudonyms 

have been used to refer to all participants involved.  

 

Following the description of the sample, the themes that emerged from the thematic analysis 

will be presented and corroborated with extracts from the transcribed data. 

  

4.1 Brief Sample Description  

Melinda  

She is an Indian woman and a mother of 2 girls. She has been with her husband for 24 years 

and married for 18 years and lives in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg. She is an MBA 

graduate and has a successful career in the financial services industry. 

Nina  

She is a Black woman and a mother of 2 boys. She has been married for 14 years and lives 

in Pretoria. She has master’s degree and has a successful career in government.  

Harriet  

She is a White woman with no children. She has been in a relationship with her partner for 

2 years and they live in Johannesburg. She has a successful career in the manufacturing industry.  



41 
 

 

Sacha   

She is a Black woman and a mother of 5 children – 3 girls and 2 boys. She has been married 

for 5 years and lives in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg. She runs a thriving consultancy in 

the marketing and research industry.  

Tabitha   

She is a Black woman and a mother of 4 children. She has been in a relationship with her 

partner for 9 years and they live in the south of Johannesburg. She has a successful career in the 

business industry.  

Thelma  

She is a White woman and a mother of 2 boys. She has been married for 17 years and lives 

in the southern suburbs of Johannesburg. She has a successful career in philanthropy.  

Danielle  

She is Black woman and a mother of 1 boy. She is customarily married and lives in 

Johannesburg. She has a successful career in the medical fraternity.  

Michelle  

She is a Black woman and a mother of 2 boys and a girl. She has been married for 26 years 

and lives in the Western Cape. She also runs a thriving consultancy in the marketing and research 

industry.  

April  



42 
 

 

She is a Coloured woman and a fur parent to a cat. She has been married for 8 years and 

lives in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg. She has a successful career in research.  

Larissa  

She is a Black woman and a mother of 2 children – a boy and a girl. She has been married under 

Islamic law for 13 years and lives in Johannesburg. She has a thriving career in the automotive 

industry.  

Faye   

She is a Black woman and mother of 3 children – 2 boys and a girl. She has been married 

for 7 years and lives in Johannesburg. She has a successful career in research. 

  

4.2 Description of Emergent Themes  

Theme 1: First comes love then comes the money talk  

Finances are an integral aspect of any relationship, and often play a vital role in determining 

the success or failure of a partnership. From the early stages of dating to the more serious 

discussions that take place before marriage, couples must navigate their financial obligations and 

expectations. This typically includes addressing existing debt, financial obligations to family 

members such as parents, siblings, children from previous relationships etc. and upholding cultural 

traditions that may require certain displays of wealth or commitment.  

“He does not take any decisions without letting me know first. Even when he 

wants to send money to his other children, he lets me know that he will be 

sending X amount of money for whatever reasons. He informs me and includes me 

in his financial decisions.” – (Larissa, black, married) 

 



43 
 

 

One such cultural tradition is lobola, wherein a man demonstrates his financial ability to care 

for his future wife by providing her family with valuable goods or money. This act not only serves 

as proof that he can support their daughter but also signifies his deep commitment to the 

relationship. For Sacha, she saw the commitment her husband had to their relationship, and she 

also had to decide how committed she was given the measures her husband took to pay lobola and 

marry her.  

“…My husband was very upfront, from the beginning he said I’m going to resign 

from my job so that I can take my pension so that I can pay lobola and marry 

you and he asked me would you still be willing to carry on? You see, we almost 

were pushed to talk about finances right from the beginning and me deciding to 

marry him, I needed to know there is a two-two chance that this person might 

get a job. He might not get a job and I'm willing to take that on…” – (Sacha, 

black, married) 

 

 

However, navigating these financial matters can lead to unique challenges for both partners 

who may experience different levels of financial power throughout their marriage.  

“When I started working, both our salaries were minimal, but I would assist 

him with paying the rent whenever he was short, and we would both buy groceries. 

As I continued working, I stared earning more money than him which posed a 

problem in our relationship because when I would tell him to do something he 

would take it as me disrespecting him because I was now earning more than him 

but that was not the case. We would occasionally have arguments over the silliest 

of things. Eventually, he got a better paying job which made him feel more like 

the man/masculine in the relationship again and peace was restored between us. 

As a woman, I could see some changes in my husband.” – (Larissa, black, married).  

 

One of the outcomes in negotiating financial power, the partner with less power will likely 

perceive and experience disrespect from the partner with more power. Reflections and self- 

awareness are important in order to address and correct behaviours that may have led to disrespect.  



44 
 

 

“I regarded my husband as a low value and, to put it bluntly, useless person 

because he was earning less than I was. Instead of supporting him during that 

time, I compared him to his peers and insulted him, adding salt to injury.” – 

(Larissa, black, married).  

  

Traditional gender roles in a marriage also have an impact on the process of negotiating financial 

power. In these traditional roles, men and women have clearly designated roles where women are 

expected to manage the household and childcare while men are expected to fund and protect the 

household and children to keep things in equilibrium. In their negotiation, Sacha, and her husband, 

came to the agreement that she would take on more of responsibility in the funding of the 

household however she did not foresee this being the case in the next five years.  

“I don't know. It's not a difficult one like I know his biggest prayer has 

always been, I would like to be the one that makes the most money so that my 

wife doesn't have to work hard and stress.” – (Sacha, black, married) 

 

“He wants to make more just so that I don’t have to stress. I think a year from 

now, God willing, things are going to change. Once all of this debt that we’ve 

got have gone down, I really don't think they'll be that much pressure to work 

hard and make more because things would have come down and hopefully none of 

these other children decide to go overseas because that’s a financial killer 

(laughter). I think things will have stabilized in a little bit more, OK.” – 

(Sacha, black, married) 

 

 

Marrying young led to feelings that their autonomy was compromised.  

“…I went to varsity, and he didn't it was a bit rocky in that moment trying to 

navigate these two different worlds. Here I am kind of figuring out my 

independence and he's a working man and he's got money so it was a really, I 

would say, a trying time for our relationship. We were together for six years 

and then we got married at the very young age of 22 and 23.” – (Melinda, indian, 

married)   

 



45 
 

 

Career decisions, such as resigning from full-time employment to studying full-time also 

proved to be a difficult terrain to navigate due to the household dynamics created by the change in 

equal economic power. 

 “When we got married, I knew exactly how much he was earning and when I went 
to do my internship, he knew exactly how much I was earning and so we knew. For 

us, like the finances wasn't such a big deal. Look, I think it was a big deal 

for me at the beginning, moving from a position where I took care of myself and 

did things for myself and having now this man look after me, I couldn't, like 

he would give me his card and his pin and tell me to go wild, go and do whatever 

I need to do, and I just couldn't. I just felt like I can't be doing this to 

another human being. I kind of deprived myself for that time. I bought the bare 

necessities just so that I don't put that burden on him. I think once you've 

lived and you've worked for yourself and you were able to take care of yourself, 

it's difficult to let someone else take care of you, at least I found it 

difficult. I had been working, just straight after matric I went and I worked, 

I didn't go straight to study, so I had been working and looking after myself 

for a while.” (Nina, black, married) 

 

As they transition through various phases in life, these imbalances can make it difficult for 

them to exert control over household finances. On the other hand, men may internalise feelings of 

inadequacy regarding their financial contributions. They might work excessively hard to rectify 

these imbalances while spending less time at home or participating in household chores.  

“…I also think my husband looks up to me quite a lot even in his business 

he pushes quiet a lot, he wants to be the breadwinner, he wants to takeover so 

he’s always pushing himself to work hard and find new business and I sometimes 

just want to say to him, relax man I got this. I think this is because he is a 

Zulu man, even though he understands our circumstances it doesn’t sit well with 

him even though no one else knows and it’s just our business.” – (Sacha, black, 

married).  

 

Despite differences in earning potential between husbands and wives, societal norms often 

dictate that men should still bear most of the responsibility for fixed costs within the household. 

This includes significant expenses like home loan repayments, school fees, and vehicle payments. 



46 
 

 

In contrast, female partners tend to be responsible for operational costs such as groceries, utilities, 

and general household maintenance.  

“…My husband worked for a financial company as well, while I was doing working 

as a moderator, I told him I don't want to pay the bond, you are responsible 

for that and at some stage he was responsible for school fees for the kids then 

I would be responsible for the running costs, I'll buy food, do whatever needs 

to be done, get clothes for the kids, whatever but all those fixed expenses 

out. I think he also paid for our cell phone contracts. I was paying everything 

operational, the pocket money for the kids or anything really that they needed…” 

– (Michelle, black, married). 

 

While this traditional division of financial responsibilities worked well for some couples, 

others found it created unnecessary tension within their relationship.  

“…since I am the one who takes care of expenses, I am more aware of what our 

expenses are, but I do say when we cannot afford an expense and need to cut 

down. Some of those things that I mention become an issue…” – (Tabitha, black, 

cohabiting). 

 

Communication is key when discussing finances; both parties need to feel comfortable 

expressing their concerns about income disparities or any perceived imbalances in financial power. 

This also extends to how children are introduced or made aware of these disparities or imbalances.  

“…At some point we tried to keep this from the kids, I would try make it look 

like dad is paying for some of these outings, vacations, or shopping sprees 

although eventually it came out. I would have two cards and I'll give him one 

of the cards so the kids could see him paying for stuff. I think I also did 

that to protect his ego. If we’ve gone shopping for the kids, we would usually 

go together because I don’t like driving, when we give them their new clothes 

they would say, ‘thank you mama, thank you papa.’ Now that my son is older, he 

can see and articulates that to his dad “don't think I don't see what's 

happening’...” – (Michelle, black, married).  

“…I'll buy uniform for my child in January, and he does the December shopping 

for the child so that the child as well shouldn't feel like mommy has more money 

than daddy. Even when we buy presents, we’ll have a list like this year he 

wanted a watch, a bike and this and that then daddy will buy this and I’ll buy 



47 
 

 

that, then he knows from daddy I’m going to get a bike and from mommy I’m going 

to get this because we don't want the child to see the imbalance that may be 

existing, consciously so, and unconscious…” – (Danielle, black, married).  

  

One of the communications strategies employed related to purchases that required consultation 

with the other partner and which purchases could be made autonomously. Spending in shared 

spaces such as changing kitchen cabinets or buying blinds were examples of decisions that required 

consultation. 

“No, I think with anything over and above that 2000 rands, it's definitely a 

consultation between me and my husband. I know in my own spending I can be quite 

a lot like my mom is like the beginning of the month, I'll spend a lot on 

clothes and this and that and not think towards the end of the month that I 

need to save up because it's going to be a long month. I know that about myself, 

I'm very careful on what I spend. For instance, we need to get blinds for the 

house now and that would probably be about 5000 rands I'll definitely chat to 

him, and we’ll see how to figure it out so it's always a conversation.” – 

(Thelma, white, married). 

 

 

While on the other hand, purchases that were more personalised and individualistic could be made 

without the consultation of a partner.  

“That is mine, darling. I will buy it. He will just know that I’m excited about 

these new red bottoms I got. I love perfume, for example, fragrances I don’t 

compromise. I’m not obsessed with clothes anymore, I just dress simple, but I 

don't compromise on fragrances, that's something that's well known in this 

house. If I see it and I like it, I buy it.” – (Michelle, black, married). 

 

 

 

 There were mixed perceptions to the use of joint accounts, some couples were opposed to 

them due to the administration involved in setting one up.  



48 
 

 

“I think, I don't know, it's just another admin. Like, why have a joint account 

when you can manage your own account...” – (Nina, black married). 

 

Some couples expressed that the use of a joint account was old fashioned and was not a 

necessary requirement to ensure accountability for each partner’s share of bills. 

“I always say, my mother's name was Aleta, the Aletha’s of that time were 

the last to have joint accounts (laughter). No, no, no, darling I have my app 

and you have your app; you do your thing and I do my thing. I just hold you 

accountable to have you done XYZ.” – (Michelle, black, married). 

 

One couple acknowledged the usefulness of a joint account to facilitate payments however 

their financial management system was influenced by their parents’ financial management system. 

“No, to have a joint account has never been on the table, we've never discussed 

having it. When I grew up, my parents had separate accounts and I think his 

parents too. I actually think it would be so helpful to have a joint account 

for food and expenses like that, that are joint…” – (Thelma, white, married). 

 

In summary, finances play a significant role at various stages of a relationship and can 

contribute to both stability and tension within partnerships. According to the participants, couples 

must navigate these discussions openly and honestly while being sensitive to cultural expectations 

and individual experiences. Recognising the importance of communication and flexibility when it 

comes to financial matters is crucial for maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship between 

partners and as family unit.  

 



49 
 

 

Theme 2: Making a life together   

All the relationships of the women in the interviews had the same genesis – they met, they 

dated and then one of two decisions were made: get married to live together or live together to get 

married. These decisions were not made lightly as families were consulted to varying degrees in 

most cases. 

 

Sub-theme 2.1: Get married to live together 

Marriage in many cultures is the coming together of two individuals and their families, with 

each culture possessing unique nuances that set them apart from others. In Western marriages, a 

couple might be engaged for a period before planning their wedding ceremony, while Indian 

marriages may involve an elaborate series of rituals and customs over several days. Nguni 

marriages often incorporate traditional practices like lobola (dowry) negotiations and blessings 

from both families, whereas Muslim marriages focus on religious ceremonies and following 

Islamic laws. 

 

In many black cultures, tradition dictates that when a man has intentions to marry, he courts 

the woman he intends to marry and then approaches his elders to inform them of his intentions and 

in some instances, he may be required to disclose how much he has saved toward ilobola. His 

elders will then approach the woman’s family and relay their son’s intentions. The presence of 

children influences the direction in which lobola negotiations will go. This practice is deeply 

rooted in the cultural beliefs surrounding marriage among black people.  

 



50 
 

 

For some women in this study, the payment of lobola was prompted by pregnancy – an 

attempt to do things “right” before the child is born or live together with the blessings of both 

families. In Michelle’s case, she was already pregnant when the lobola negotiations were taking 

place and understanding the implications of the pregnancy the couple decided not to disclose this 

information to the elders.  

“I remember during my negotiations as well, I think, I don't know why, I think 

me, and my husband decided we are not going to tell them (my family) that I'm 

pregnant because they would have asked for more money in the lobola 

negotiations, and we really just wanted things to go as smooth as possible and 

we could officially be together with everyone’s blessing. We discussed not 

telling them that I'm pregnant, but I told my aunt. My aunt then told her 

sister, who was part of the negotiation, and the news of my pregnancy broke out 

on the day of the negotiations. Unknowingly, my husband sends his family to 

mine with a certain amount of money that he thought would cover the negotiation, 

and my family brought up the pregnancy and the need to pay damages as well now…” 

– (Michelle, black, married) 

 

Prior to making the decision to get married, only two couples lived independently before lobola, 

or marriage took place. It was important for them to live with their partner with knowledge and 

blessing from their respective families first. This highlights how significant gaining approval from 

family members can be in various cultural contexts.  

 

“Absolutely, yes. It wasn't necessarily formal because it's not like I moved my 

furniture and things, but like if I wasn't home my sisters wouldn't be like 

hey, where are you? Are you OK? They’d sort of know where I am and it wasn't 

necessarily frowned upon as much, I think.” – (Faye, black, married) 

 

The marriage route leading up to living together is formalised through various processes that 

need to be completed before a couple can begin building their lives away from family and any 

interference they may cause. However, for two ladies involved in this study, this was not the case. 

Faye described her home life as “mixed family situation” as she shared her home with two of her 

siblings and her quadriplegic father. Melinda also mentioned that she shares her property with her 

mother who lives in the granny cottage behind her house after the passing of her father.  



51 
 

 

 

The presence of the matriarchal and patriarchal figures in their homes had an influence on 

the couple's behaviour, particularly for the household with the patriarchal figure. In this case, the 

husband and wife changed the way they ran their household.  

“We have a helper for the housekeeping and that sort of thing, but when it comes 

to meal preparation, I swap between myself and my siblings depending on who 

feels up to it. So initially I didn't want to and also my husband would not 

have felt comfortable if I had asked him to be cooking in this space where my 

father is around, my siblings are around because that would be a culturally 

frowned upon but previously when we used to live in as a nuclear family, he 

would prepare meals more frequently than what he is currently doing. I think 

only now he's getting a bit more comfortable with doing that, in our current 

living situation.” – (Faye, black, married) 

 

Within Zulu culture, the man is considered the head of house and cannot be seen doing work 

typically associated with women.  

 

In summary, marriage customs and traditions vary greatly across cultures, but one common 

thread from this sample is that marrying brings together not only two individuals but also their 

families. Each culture has its unique practices surrounding marriage, such as lobola negotiations 

in black African cultures or religious ceremonies in Islamic marriages. However, gaining approval 

from family members remains a crucial aspect of these unions regardless of cultural background. 

Additionally, living arrangements both before and after marriage can be influenced by various 

factors such as unplanned pregnancy or extended family depending on each individual couple's 

circumstances. Couples navigate various challenges and adapt to changing dynamics within their 

households, often adjusting in accordance with cultural expectations or unforeseen circumstances. 

 



52 
 

 

Sub-theme 2.2: Live together to get married. 

The decision to live together before marriage is a significant one, and for many couples, it is 

largely influenced by finances. Living together and sharing expenses makes more sense and allows 

the couple to save for the marriage they intend to have in the future. 

  

One example of this is a couple who lived on the same property as their partner's parents; 

moving out was a decision that could make or break their relationship. However, the outcome 

proved positive because they stayed together, gained independence, and were afforded some 

privacy to figure things out by themselves.  

“Over a few months. I think maybe about 4-5 months I've been living there, and 

I just said to him sorry, but we need to have this chat and he said what, I 

said we need to get our own wings and we need to leave. We used to travel 

together to work like I said we work in the same building, and it was stupid to 

go in two separate cars. Literally every day we get home from work, his parents 

would be standing there waiting, no ‘hello, how are you’ just straight to ‘you 

need to help me with this.’ Then it got to a point where him and I were having 

quite a deep conversation, he literally stood up in the middle of the 

conversation and he went to go help his parents and I lost it. I said there's 

no respect for me, you just don't care, and you think it's normal? I said it's 

not normal. I said you do not disrespect me like that.” – (Harriet, white, 

cohabiting) 

 

Marriage in various cultures symbolises the coming together of two individuals and their 

families, with each culture having its unique nuances. In Western marriages, Indian marriages, 

Nguni marriages, and Muslim marriages, tradition plays a significant role in how these unions are 

formed. While one couple had intentions to honour tradition, finances posed a barrier to their 

union.  

“I would love to get married and so would he but with me being the sole bread 

winner, we do not have the resources for him to pay lobola and pay for the 



53 
 

 

necessary ceremonies that follow. I am a Zulu woman and he is a Venda man and 

so traditionally there are a lot of things that need to happen that cost a lot 

of money and we cannot do that using just my income so that has prevented us 

from getting married up until now but in a way I feel like it is better that 

way because given all the issues we have been experiencing lately, especially 

this year…” – (Tabitha, black, cohabiting) 

 

In conclusion, the decision to live together before marriage is often influenced by factors 

such as financial considerations, family dynamics, and cultural norms. The experiences of various 

couples in this study have shown that cohabitation can provide opportunities for growth and 

independence while also presenting challenges arising from societal expectations and familial 

involvement.  

 

Theme 3: Finding a work-life rhythm 

The study shows that women can manage their roles as a career woman, wife/partner, and 

mother an average of two children. Working from home was widely appreciated by these women 

because it allowed them to be closer to their families and participate in their children's extramural 

activities. Although working from home gave them more time, eliminating the need to travel hours 

back and forth, they still struggled with managing their work hours. Many had to use personal time 

before bed just to finish something work-related.  

“…like I wake up at 3:00 AM to type report…” – (Danielle, black, married)  

 

Moreover, the family-oriented nature of these women was nurtured by work environments 

that focused on output rather than the number of hours spent at work. As household managers, 

these research participants were responsible for ensuring that everything got done whether they 



54 
 

 

did it themselves or hired help. Several mothers felt that domestic skills were valuable for both 

boys and girls. Boy moms especially emphasised the importance of this skill.  

“Definitely. I would love them to be able to do more than I can see my husband 

can do. I would love to for them to get to make their own food. You know my 

husband is completely incapable of doing that. He will literally buy a piece of 

biltong and have that for lunch if there's no one to give him a sandwich, you 

know he wouldn't even make a sandwich for himself. I would love for them to be 

able to make food for themselves. We actually have a rule on the weekend where 

they need to do their own breakfast and again, it's difficult because the older 

one wouldn't then eat, but the younger one will, he will go, like he had ice 

cream on Saturday morning for breakfast and that's fine I don't mind what he 

has just as long as he feeds himself. The older one, will just be hungry or go 

try and find a cookie or something to eat. He's very similar to my husband in 

that respect.” – (Thelma, white, married) 

 

 

While some women were interested in climbing the corporate ladder or growing their 

business, they expressed that it could not come at the expense of their home life. These 

advancements would have to offer more than just financial benefits; they would have to be 

impactful opportunities such as mentoring others, growing people in their teams, offering services 

to the greater community and role modelling various avenues of success. 

 

In pursuing an education or desire for education, these women constantly had to negotiate 

their time commitments across all domains in their life. For example, while pursuing her MBA, 

Melinda felt that her children had grown so much int the 2 years she was completing her studies 

and noticed changes in the family dynamic as well.  

“…I never in my whole life realised it would have taken so much out of me. 

You're doing your master's and full-time at work and you’re a mom. I would say 

I have a full plate at work in terms of my responsibility and trying to do this 

was not an easy task and I've experienced, the analogy I use is there was no 

place for me on the couch when I finished it. It's like my family had filled 

the couch and then when I came back there was no place and I had to reintegrate 

myself into my family through lots of hard work, coaching, self-awareness and 



55 
 

 

really just being very reminded that they've grown up in two years and so have 

I and how do we now interact with each other?” 

 

Their biggest challenges at home included not having/making enough time for themselves 

while being responsible for teaching children’s domestic skills even though some dads modelled 

this behaviour, it was their duty to ensure that the learnings stuck. In contrast, imposter syndrome 

(not feeling competent without qualifications) and having managers who did not understand 

balancing work-life priorities were significant challenges faced at work. 

 

Overall, the study sheds light on the challenges faced by women who juggle multiple roles 

as career women, wives/partners, and mothers. It highlights how working from home has been 

beneficial for women trying to balance multiple roles but still faces organisational challenges such 

as supporting employees' domestic responsibilities and promoting gender equality. It emphasises 

the importance of progressive work environments that prioritise output over hours spent at work, 

promote mentorship and community growth, and provide equal opportunities for both men and 

women. 

 

Theme 4: Influence of matriarchal figures and patriarchal figures 

The matriarchal relationship played a significant role in shaping the outlook of the women 

in this study, as it determined how they envisioned themselves growing up. Regardless of whether 

these women had good or bad relationships with their matriarchal figures, their experiences shaped 

their perceptions and expectations for themselves and others. 



56 
 

 

“Actually, she just turned 65. So back then I would ask about why doesn't she 

go and finish matric and go and do other things and she felt she was too old. 

One thing that I thought, ‘no man like you can't woman’ and I think seeing how 

smart she was, the potential that she had, I just thought shuu, I wouldn't want 

to do that, I don't want to limit myself in terms of what I can and can't do. 

It doesn't matter whether I realised 10 years down the line that ohh maybe I 

should have done this, I would go and do it. I wouldn't let an age limit to 

what I can and can't do. I think in terms of that I just thought I would push 

and that's why I guess I push myself.” - (Nina, black, married) 

 

Matriarchs often established some autonomy through employment, either part-time or full-

time, and were influential in financial decision-making within the household. They were also 

responsible for delegating chores and tried to ensure that tasks were not gender-based; both boys 

and girls participated in activities such as collecting wood, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning. 

 

 While there were differing beliefs regarding traditional divisions of labour between 

matriarchs and patriarchs, both agreed it was important to raise their daughters to be financially 

independent and raise their sons to take care of domestic responsibilities.  

“…my father ensured that his girls must know how to stand on their own and not 

be not rely on a man. That's how we were raised…” - (April, coloured, married)  

 “…they (bothers) were taught you must do washing; you do the dishes. We all 

have our issues but if they are to be out in the world alone, they wouldn't 

need a woman to do those things for them.” - (April, coloured, married)  

 

Many matriarchs did not have the privilege of receiving an education, but they instilled 

strong values about its importance in the women they raised. The belief that education was crucial 

to success and independence was deeply ingrained in these women's minds. For some participants 

who grew up in abusive homes, being educated meant having more freedom from relying on a 



57 
 

 

breadwinner's support. Education was seen as a vital tool for empowering women and promoting 

self-reliance.  

 

In other cases, a mother's education caused tension within families and became a point of 

contention or even weaponised against her husband and in turn negatively affected the children.  

Michelle relayed that she witnessed her mother being abused by her stepfather although her mother 

worked, her stepfather was the breadwinner. Her desire to provide a stable home for her children 

and conceding to the idea that she was unable to provide that alone led her to staying in the 

marriage until her passing. 

“…My mom worked, but the stepfather was very much of a provider, too much. He 

earned well. He earned more. He worked for a good laboratory company…”  

“My grandmother never forced her to go back her husband, because I would ask 

her, why don't we leave this person? Why are we going back? And she’d respond 

by saying who will want me with 4 kids. Now when I think about it today, I'm 

like shame, she wanted the structure for kids, she wanted to give them a home 

and a father and I won't judge because that's how these women back then.” 

(Michelle, …) 

 

Thelma, on other hand, shared her experience of growing with a mother who was not only 

educated but was also the breadwinner. This experience shaped her perspective on how to navigate 

tensions around the management of household finances as well how she would parent her own 

children. 

“So, for a long time I loo